Orientation Ramblings

I am sitting in the library, in a circle of very comfortable armchairs; Matilda & Daniel sit opposite me. Here are a few thoughts I have been having - mainly inspired by the back issues of 'The Log' (Pearson's version of a yearbook).

It is crazy to me to see familiar faces in these logs, I found a letter my mother wrote about her second years and how much she misses them. Will I feel the same way? The topic of the year ending comes up sometimes but is quickly brushed over and dismissed with a "let's not talk about that", which is only a temporary solution. At the very least it leaves us in bliss.

I never use my computer or phone here. Granted, I have 'misplaced' my phone (a word I use to mask the fear that I've lost it), so maybe that helps a bit. To be fair, I have been told by everybody that things just pop up here, so I will just wait for now. I tried to Skype my mother last night, but it didn't work out. I feel strangely detached from the world outside of Pearson. The whole of the Goose just feels like an extension of campus, so it's sort of like you never leave. Now, gone are the feelings of needing to catch up with everyone's Instagram post, read all the captions and comments. Gone is the need to post a picture, upkeep my streaks (those are unfortunately long dead). It is so incredibly liberating, who knew it could feel so freeing. I wish the world could go back to a time before social media.

Yesterday I put up my decorations in my room. Marika & Emily helped me collage my photos, covering up the peeling paint from the walls. Now when I walk up the steep stairs to my bed I get hit by a wall of color and faces and places, which I find so wonderful. There's also a wall of photos that I've taken by myself which is so cool, and has not really happened before. It is nice to be able to say "I took these photos".

On Monday night, we all gathered in the Max Bell Theatre to sing together. I found it totally beautiful, group singing is so therapeutic in the way that you really do feel connected to other people. There were a bunch of second years who started to cry, and that made me feel really sad. I found out later that we were singing one of the songs that they used to say goodbye to their second years.

After choir, we had a tone setting meeting. It involved a few moderators who organized the discussion and second years stood up to introduce different topics they felt needed to be a part of the tone that was set. The moderators framed it as a discussion between first and second years, and we discussed sex in rooms, use of phones, respect for each other, and a few other topics. I felt that while overall the productivity of the meeting will be difficult to really ascertain, their were a few aspects of the meeting that I disliked. This included the use of moderators to curtail fellow students' thoughts. I understand that for some there is a want to not spend hours discussing things, but I feel that we should really weigh the importance of what we are discussing, and treat it with the respect that it's importance demands. For a tone setting meeting, with an aim to establish a base understanding amongst students, I was surprised that people were wanting it to end as quickly as possible. It feels like such an important topic should really just be given as much time as possible. I also feel that the notion of not wanting to sit in the Max Bell for forever listening to others lends an air of disrespect towards fellow students. Yes, some people may talk for too long and stray off topic, but there seemed to be an undercurrent of 'we have something better to do', which I felt was antithetical to the whole mission of Pearson.

Already I am finding it difficult to remember the specificities, and little beautiful moments, that have occurred. I guess there is a solace in simply knowing that moments like that did exist, but it also makes me more focussed on trying to keep up with my writing, both here & in my journal. It is really hard, but I'm going to try my best! I also don't want to be too swept up in writing, and not actually live in the moment.

Until next time,
Love
Theo